• 3 Ways to Be Honest - wikiHow
  • How to Be Honest
  • No one likes lies

How to Be Honest. No one likes lies. But, unfortunately, being dishonest with others and ourselves is sometimes easier than telling the truth. It …

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What we are striving for is healthy interdependent relationships. We want friends who are allies. With alliances it is necessary to negotiate boundaries. Here is what I am willing to do, and here is what I need from you. We want a romantic relationship with a partner who will share our journey with us. In order to make that possible itis necessary to communicate, share feelings, and negotiate agreements aboutbehavior. By setting boundaries, we are communicating with another person. We are telling them who we are and what we need. It is much more effectiveto do that directly and honestly than to expect them to read our minds -and then punish them when they cannot.

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Setting Personal Boundaries - protecting self - Joy2MeU
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Learning to set boundaries is a vital part of learning to communicate in a direct and honest manner. It is impossible to have a healthy relationship with someone who has no boundaries, with someone who cannot communicate directly, and honestly. Learning how to set boundaries is a necessary step in learning to be a friend to ourselves. It is ourresponsibility to take care of ourselves - to protect ourselves when it isnecessary. It is impossible to learn to be Loving to ourselves withoutowning our self - and owning our rights and responsibilities as co-creators of our lives.

 

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If we do not own that we have a choice to leave an abusive relationship - then we are not making a choice to stay in the relationship. Any time we do not own our choices, we are empowering victimization. We will then blame the other person, and/or blame ourselves. It is a vital part of the process of learning to love ourselves, and taking responsibility for being a co-creator in our life, to own all of our choices.

Great article – I especially liked the specific and actionable advice you provided
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It is best to use primary feeling words (described in the articles above) when expressing the "I feel . . . ." part of this formula - but it is also OK to use words that describe the messages we feel are inherent in their behaviors.


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So, in this third article of this series on emotional honestyand emotional responsibility I am going to be focusing on setting personalboundaries with other people. I am going to attempt to keep the focuson a very basic level for those readers who are new to the concept of boundaries.

My year without alcohol: an honest account - Life is …

We all deserve to be treated with respect and dignity. If we do not respect ourselves, if we do not start awakening to our right to be treated with respect and dignity (and our responsibility in creating that in our lives) - then we will be more comfortable being involved with people who abuse us then with people who treat us in loving ways. Often if we do not respect ourselves, we will end up exhibiting abusive behavior towards people who do not abuse us. On some level in our codependence, weare more comfortable with being abused (because it is what we have always known) than being treated in a loving way.

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To start by learning how to set boundaries and assert ourselves, without changing the core relationship with ourselves, will ultimately not work in the relationships we care most about. It is relatively easy to start setting boundaries in relationships that don't mean muchto us - it is in the relationships that mean the most to us that it is sodifficult. That is because, it is those relationships - family, romantic,etc. - that our inner child wounds are the most powerful. The littlechild within us does not feel worthy, feels defective and shameful, andis terrified of setting boundaries for fear everyone will leave. Theother extreme of this phenomena is those of us who throw up huge walls totry to keep people from getting too close - and sabotage any relationshipthat starts getting too intimate - to try to protect the wounded childwithin from being hurt.

Sep 03, 2014 · By Jenny Q

It is not enough to set boundaries - it is necessary to be willing to do whatever it takes to enforce them. We need to be willing to go to any length, do whatever it takes to protect ourselves. This issomething that really upset me when I first started learning how to setboundaries. It took great courage for me to build myself up to apoint where I was willing to set a boundary. I thought that the hugething I had done to set a boundary should be enough. Then to see thatsome people just ignored the boundaries I had set, seemed terribly unfairto me.